angelbabyjean
No Storybook Ending For This Fairytale Of You...
12/28/03
I'm going to see Kristin on Tuesday, she had her baby. She's a completely different person, and when I told her that she said she wants to change back to who she was before, but that's a drug addict...and a slut. I didn't like who she was before. *cough* <--I have a cold. I don't want her to go back...It will kill me and everyone around her, including her beautiful new baby Rowan.
and I talked to Michelle, she's going to Maryland. I told her I loved her...she said she would rather be single now because she likes to flirt with everyone. WHAT THE FUCK?! Even though she knows how I am and that I hardly ever date neone she still says sumthing like that to me? So I sat there and did nothing, tears did not overcome me because I held everything inside.
Then we called this guy she likes, Scott, who is not worth her time of day. He leads her on and cheats her out and she lets him. So he came over and she started crying over him, she's in love with him, when I told her that she realized it. But yet she can't see that's the way I feel about her. And for sum reason, I want to make friends with this guy, who hurts and betrays her, because I want her to see how she is hurting me. It even makes me want to fuck him and tell her all about it, just to hurt her, because there is no since in loving her when she doesn't reciprocate, or maybe I'm just selfish.
Love kills people, and it hurt me very badly a long time ago, but sumhow it keeps overcoming me, It was easy to block it out before, but now it's getting harder. I want so much to just let it all go, to cut myself again and make it all go away, but I can't.
I wasn't given that choice, to cut or not to cut? I wouldn't know, I was forced into confinment by the people that say they care about me but not enough to let me solve my own problems. They just think that making it all go away by force will make the whole problem go away, but it doesn't. I just choose to hurt myself in every other way to make all of the emotional pain subside. I'll stop complaining now.
and I talked to Michelle, she's going to Maryland. I told her I loved her...she said she would rather be single now because she likes to flirt with everyone. WHAT THE FUCK?! Even though she knows how I am and that I hardly ever date neone she still says sumthing like that to me? So I sat there and did nothing, tears did not overcome me because I held everything inside.
Then we called this guy she likes, Scott, who is not worth her time of day. He leads her on and cheats her out and she lets him. So he came over and she started crying over him, she's in love with him, when I told her that she realized it. But yet she can't see that's the way I feel about her. And for sum reason, I want to make friends with this guy, who hurts and betrays her, because I want her to see how she is hurting me. It even makes me want to fuck him and tell her all about it, just to hurt her, because there is no since in loving her when she doesn't reciprocate, or maybe I'm just selfish.
Love kills people, and it hurt me very badly a long time ago, but sumhow it keeps overcoming me, It was easy to block it out before, but now it's getting harder. I want so much to just let it all go, to cut myself again and make it all go away, but I can't.
I wasn't given that choice, to cut or not to cut? I wouldn't know, I was forced into confinment by the people that say they care about me but not enough to let me solve my own problems. They just think that making it all go away by force will make the whole problem go away, but it doesn't. I just choose to hurt myself in every other way to make all of the emotional pain subside. I'll stop complaining now.
No replies - Scream!
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