No Storybook Ending For This Fairytale Of You...

hullo I guess this is my first entry. a lot is going on in my life rite now and that's why I'm starting to do this blog thing, because I have nowhere else to put all this. I'm really missing bridgette rite now. I'm so upset that she had to go land herself in another bad situation, I wish she would just do sumthing worthwhile with her life and forget all of the shit she's putting everyone thru. No one is happy with her rite now. Marcus is going around saying that he's not willing to do her nemore favors when she won't even try to at least make it the rest of the way thru high school...But that's a whole different story, she's not a significant part of my life nemore, but that doesn't mean I don't care about her. I'm trying to not really let neone be very significant in my life rite now. I think I need to concentrate on school more than nething. I'm failing and I'm so scared of what my mom is going to do. I really don't want to dissapoint her but it's all too late, I wish I would of thought about that before I started to fail, when I actually had time to pull out of this gigantic mess. Everything is a mess rite now really, I'm just trying to keep my head on straight and to keep everyone else at a minimal importancy. But the more I do that, the farther and farther Chris goes away from me. It's like, I want him close, but I'm so incredibly afraid that he'll be pushed farther and farther away. And x-mas is going to be here in a couple of days, which scares me even more. I feel so ashamed in this family with all of these Christians when I have to celebrate this holiday even tho it isn't of my religion. I wonder if the god/goddess understands? I think so but is it okay for me to accept gifts? I'm not sure, maybe I will just pretend like it's Halloween...
~*~Jewelz~*~